Break ups are always hard. Whether it was your decision or not, you are guaranteed to hurt for some time afterwards. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix to feeling better after a relationship ends. Time is the best healer and you have to simply ride out the sadness and negative feelings. But, just because there is no immediate cure for heartache, doesn’t mean there aren’t things you can do to ease the pain. After the initial blow has sunk in and you feel like you will never be happy again, here are some things you can do to feel better.
Negative Reappraisal
No relationship is perfect and you would be lying to yourself if you thought yours was. Go back through all the memories you have with your ex-partner and write down everything that annoyed or upset you. Pick out their character flaws and the arguments you had together. Anything that can take them down from the pedestal you have put them on will make you feel better. Try and do this every day. At first it may make you feel bad and uncomfortable but it will make you feel a lot better in the long run.
Let Yourself Feel Your Pain
There will be a lot of pain inside you in the first few weeks after your break up. You might want to cry or scream or curse. Whenever you get an urge to do any of these things, do them. Don’t supress your feelings, just feel them. If you want to scream and cry at the top of your lungs then do it – it’s exceptionally cathartic and releases a lot of your negative energy. I guarantee you will feel a whole lot better afterwards.
Believe That You Will Find a Better Relationship
This is probably the hardest thing you can possibly believe after a break up but it’s true. If you and your partner broke up then you weren’t supposed to be together. It is a hard concept to come to terms with when you’re battling heartbreak, but it is the truth. The good news is that there is someone out there who will be much better for you, you just need to wait for them to cross your path and start a new relationship with the person.
Remind Yourself it Won’t Last Forever
When you are in the thick of it, it can feel like your sadness will never end. You will feel like you are going to be lonely and miserable for the rest of you life. But, that is simply not the case. If you have ever been through a break up before and moved on, you will do the same this time. If this is your first break up then you’ll just have to take my word for it. It hurts like hell right now but it won’t always be like this. You just have to be patient.
Love Yourself
One of the most paralysing feelings that comes with a break up is loneliness. The person you confided everything in is suddenly no longer around and you may well feel deeply alone. Sure, you can block up your schedule with dinner dates and coffee breaks with your friends, but the distraction is only a temporary fix. You need to be ok on your own and the way you do that is by loving yourself. Think about all of the amazing things you have achieved and be proud of yourself. If your ex loved you then you can love you too.
